literature

TMM-SM: Pick A Daughter chap 1

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“I don’t know, Haruka. They fit most of the requirements, but neither have any musical talent. And look— I think Lily’s hair is only dyed green.” Michiru Kaiou sat in a theatre chair, frowning at two girls onstage in front of her. Beside her, Haruka Tenou nodded her agreement, so Michiru motioned for the girls to leave. “Next.”

As the girls headed backstage sulking, the doors in the back of the theatre flew open and a blue-haired woman rushed in. Her hair was tied up in two buns, though a few stray hairs poke out stubbornly. Minto Aizawa looked at the two already-seated women, and stamped her foot. “I knew it! We’re late!”

“Minto, calm down,” Zakuro Fujiwara, elegant in purple, followed behind. “They’ve hardly begun.” Minto pouted, but kept silent as a new pair of girls walked onstage.

“Hello, my name is Namiko, and this is my sister, Katsuoko,” one of the girls introduced herself. She was a small girl, with dark blue hair (natural dark blue hair, Michiru noted) that fell in waves down to her waist. Though she wore pants, she had an air of elegance that made it easy to envision her in a formal dress. In her hand, Michiru was interested to see, Namiko carried a flute.

“Can you play?” Michiru asked, pointing to the silver instrument. Namiko nodded, and lifted it to her lips. She began playing a tune that remarkably like Heart Moving.

Michiru smiled and mentally check off the required traits that this girl required. Green or blue hair, check. Elegant and ladylike, check. Musical talent, check. And as a bonus, her name means Wave Child! Michiru was impressed. No girl so far had possessed so many of the qualities she was looking for.

Beside her, Haruka was studying Katsuoko. Small, but obviously plays sports, she noted, observing the many grass stains in the girl’s clothing. She has brown hair—we can bleach that if we have to— but doesn’t seem to be quite comfortable in spotlight situations. “Do you run?” she asked suddenly, interrupting the flute concert.

Katsuoko nodded vigorously. “All the time. And I rollerblade and ride my bike. I like going fast,” she grinned, and tugged on her boyishly short hair. “Cut off my hair so that I don’t have to comb out tangles.”

Haruka was satisfied. “She fills all my requirements,” she whispered to Michiru.

Michiru glanced over at Katsuoko and shrugged. Whispering back, she said, “Namiko seems to fulfill all my hopes as well.” After receiving a nod from Haruka, she smiled at the twins. “Thank you, we’ll consider you.” As they left, Michiru turned to face Minto, sitting on her left. “What do you think?”

Minto considered what she had seen. “Well, her flute playing seemed to be superb. She also seems to be completely comfortable in the spotlight, something you want in a girl who is going to be living in a palace. Her hair isn’t green, though, and it’s too long. If she’s going to be your daughter, her hair should be no longer than mid-back.”

“It could be cut,” Haruka broke in. “And blue isn’t too different from your green, Michiru.” Now having caught the attention of all three women, Haruka shrugged. “I liked them. Katsuoko was the first one today who admitted to liking any physical activity.”

Minto’s eyes widened as she mentally dissected Haruka’s statement. “The first one today?” she shifted her accusing gaze to her left, where Zakuro was dutifully inspecting her shoes. “You said we weren’t late, Zakuro.”

Zakuro’s interest in the floor deepened. “Well, our girls haven’t arrived yet. We didn’t need to get here much earlier.” In a less elegant lady, Zakuro’s expression may have been described as sheepish.

Now totally forgotten, the women from the world of Sailor Moon traded looks. “Why don’t you two go talk outside, while we finish with our auditions?” Michiru suggested. Haruka decided to avoid tact altogether and pulled both Tokyo Mew Mew women from their seats, then herded them to the door.

As the door closed, the Senshi could still hear the fading argument. “You lied to me, Zakuro.”

Haruka and Michiru turned their attention back to the stage. Displaying the type of timing always found in fanfics, the next princess-wannabes had arrived on the stage just as Minto and Zakuro had left.

Michiru took one look, and then shook her head. “We can’t have triplets,” she shot a horrified look at Haruka. “It would totally throw off the Official Balance of the Children of Magical Girls! One daughter per magical girl, that’s it!”

Haruka nodded sagely, then raised her voice so the girls onstage could hear. “I’m sorry, next!”

The rest of the auditions only took half an hour. No other girls fit the requirements well enough to be considered. After the last pair, two cousins who both had green hair and played trombones, Michiru let out a sigh. “Thank goodness that’s over. I don’t think I could sit through another rendition of Moonlight Legend,” she paused. “Did I know it was even possible to burp that song?”

Haruka grimaced. “Better than the girl who farted the whole thing.” She shuddered and changed the subject. “So, who should we go with? I liked that American pair—Carla and Victoria.”

Michiru stared at her partner in horror. “Them? Are you mad? Carla had red hair - and Victoria purple! Even though they had personalities almost exactly like ours, they didn’t even look remotely similar! And Victoria - she wore glasses! How could we adopt a pair of girls who look totally unrelated to us? What if, when they suddenly get magical Senshi powers that really have nothing to do with their pasts or real family, their uniforms don’t have any of our colors? It clearly states in the Official Sailor Senshi Handbook that all of our offspring - excluding Chibi-Usa - must look incredibly similar to their mothers (even adopted mothers) and bear absolutely no resemblance to their fathers! Carla and Victoria look nothing like us! We could get sued!” Michiru had reached the point of hysteria.

Haruka was properly abashed. In her eagerness to adopt those two perfectly clone-like girls, she had forgotten the most important rule: all adopted children must not only act and get powers and outfits similar to their magical girl mothers; they must first and foremost look like their mothers. How could she have forgotten that?

Real title: Pick A Daughter, Any Daughter.

Author's notes: This is based on one of my rants (click the link and scroll down to find said rant), where I noted/ranted that it seems every time Minto/Zakuro or Michiru/Haruka adopt daughters, the girls come in pairs of two, and always look like their adopted parents, and have personalities similar to their adopted parents.

See where I'm going with this?

And really, I have nothing against adopted kids. Anzu's adopted. Skittles is adopted. But clones? No. And in my Chibi Senshi team, Haruka/Michiru don't adopt anyone.

Anyway, onto the parody!
© 2006 - 2024 Celestial-Selene
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sailorvulpix's avatar
somebody should draw a picture of those four. i would do it myself, but i'm not that good! T~T oh woe is me... *cries in corner*